The S Word

 There is a reason you do not see Me using the word "supremacy" in My Femdom. As a white person I am not comfortable deploying that word because I know that it sends out a very specific signal to a particular audience (neo nazis). The word Femdom, on its own, does an outstanding job of inverting the power dynamic. Yes, I have dropped the s word on occasion, but it always felt like a very impractical and uncomfortable pair of boots that you suddenly realize are kind of distorting and damaging your legs and not in a hot way.

We have many other better ways to communicate Female power without using that word. I really don't want to have people searching white supremacy hashtags's and find Me because I branded Myself as a Female Supremacist. And I don't need to use that specifically loaded word to inspire desire or anything else in My subjects.

Let Me be clear: I do see value in WOC/POC using that word, should they choose. People of colour have been going along with white people's crap & excuses while being the better people long enough to own any term they want. Part of Me recognizing & taking responsibility for My privilege is acting as an amplifier for other voices, and part of that is Me saying, "I don't get to say what words POC or minorities get to use".

Look, the contemporary reality is that much (most) of Femdom is super misogynistic male fear driven FANTASY. It seems only a very few Dommes understand this FULLY. Those who do excercise and take control of/with their minds and do not budge on their boundaries. They do not do things for profit or publicity that hurt other Women, minorites and the vulnerable. They do things that OPEN doors for other Women and all Women. The most intelligent Women I know are all Dommes, and yet some are other things as well... doctors, judges, architects, teachers, engineers and world leaders.

In this culture we see men in positions of power seek out a submissive role sexually, but we often see Women who hold power seek out dominant roles sexually which I read as an internal recognition that being a Woman in power feels simultaneously more frustrating and more precarious than being a man in power. Why? Because it is easier for a man in power to set that power aside for a fantasy, confident they can pick it back up the second the session ends, than it is for a Woman who has every reason to believe the second She lets Her power go it will disappear.

On  first glance "supremacy" seems to be describing a position of power: that someone is powerful or has power at their command. Historically, however, the word "supremacy" relates less to whether one has power as it does to whether the power one has is intrinsic, inalienable, or justified. When classical authors wrote about the "supremacy of the state" they were not saying that governments are powerful but that power & government are so interconnected that it makes no sensne to talk of one without the other. (Cicero, Plato, Diogenes)

The problem with Female Supremacy is that it underlines the concept of supremacy as being that those who have power are those who SHOULD have power. (See Google guy manifesto). Supremacy says power is a right and not something that just happens, that power belongs where it is. To use the word is to give the ultimate signal of "don't move the status quo". Supremacy leaves NO room for either equality or equity. Equality is a fight for survival. Equity is a fight for justice.

Femdom without the supremacy is a fantasy but also a practice of the free exchange and redistribution of power by consent. More subversive than a man on his knees before a Woman triumphant is the idea that power is fluid, arbitrary but can be placed according to the desires of the people who interact with it. The concept of supremacy is so interwoven with our culture and understanding of power that it takes significant time and effort to recognize how radical an alternative, like consensual power distribution, genuinely is.

If we want to be authentic subversive or disruptive agents of change, we need to challenge assumptions about what power is more than question who has it.

+<3

Some Thoughts the DMCA

I really can't get behind issuing DMCAs or having them issued on My behalf because I am not okay with supporting or using a legal weapon that indiscriminate. I never have been, I never will be.

I have serious concerns with the lack of due process & the shoot first ask questions NEVER approach to DMCA enforcement. It's an enforcement that lends itself to a unilateral shoot from the hip/tactical nuke form of censorship. For example: The fact that in the music industry DMCAs are routinely used to protect top 40 artists who are blatantly ripping off lesser known ones is pretty evil. It's also pretty well documented but not in a way that is presented to us as ubiquitously as the work of the offenders.

This is an issue I have a lot to say about because I don't see the facts supporting the damage of piracy presented with as much proof as the arguments for how piracy actually supports artists. I am very interested by the arguments for and against piracy. The arguments for it are backed up with actual statistical data while the arguments against seem to be taken on blind faith alone. For example: Treating downloads as if they were sales that would have happened and then calculating damages accordingly involves a number of unsubstantiated leaps of logic.

If I were to make use of DMCAs I would be helping to set even more precedents for their widespread use and deployment. Why does this concern Me? Because this is also a tool too often used to silence opposition. (For Example: The British National Party has made wide use of DMCAs to silence critics). It's easy to look at the reactions of individuals sharing paid content and project guilt onto some of their comments about being shut down for doing so, but the reality is DMCAs affect an individual's ability to participate in the conversation. It's not like a Cease and Desist where due process can be reasonably expected and which includes the courtesy of a warning. Very few platforms or connection providers even investigate the legitimacy of a DMCA claim. The most common response is immediate account termination.

My opinion is this: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act does exactly what it was intended to do, which is save massive organizations like the IRAA or private media empires the headache of having to go through due process to achieve their often dubious aims. A process they can easily afford but which poses risk if they don't win outright. They don't want to lose even one inch of ground to progress. (I am reminded of a rant by Malcom McDowell's character from 'Water and Power' in Tank Girl...  "oh it's just one little tract of land"...)

That's My opinion & I am aware that few of My peers feel the same as I do about DMCAs. I absolutely understand the appeal of a one-call solution, and I can't help but compare it to the ease of acquiring a gun.

That's been My position and philosophy with regards to content distribution and also with the tech behind peer to peer sharing sites.

We constantly use technology developed for file sharing (by people who donated their time and expertise to build this tech without expectation of compensation) that came from some extremely shitty-to-visit or engage with parts of the net, and that is not easy to digest. Not easy at all.

That's a short overview of some of My thoughts on this subject. I've posted about this in the past and likely will again in the future. The circumstances that brought these issues to mind if anything illustrate some of the problems of the DMCA and some of the problems with our collective responses to it. 

I am in the position of being accused of issuing a number of DMCAs and take-down orders including one that resulted in an FTP account closure (which was hosting content that included but was not limited to Mine). I was not involved or even aware of this in any way and yet due to the way DMCAs are issued and responded to, this is not an easy thing for Me (or anyone accused) to prove. I can however point out that those persons claiming to have been contacted or threatened by Me claimed that said threats came from an email domain I know for a fact does not exist, as I have legal ownership of said domain and have no email server or service associated with it. My fans can verify that all My direct email contact is through a good old fashioned gmail.com address.

When I moved My content to a pay site I did NOT pursue any previously distributed copies, nor did I pursue anyone participating in unauthorized distribution of content that was never released free. I see little overlap between My new audience who is in the habit of buying content from clip sale sites and the audience who is primarily file sharing, and as such I do not see the latter in any way damaging the former. 

I see no contradiction in making a file available for purchase regardless of how it was available previously or other ways it may be available now. One thing that paying consumers are getting for their money is the ease and protection of accessing My content through their preferred platform. Another thing many are not aware of is the additional time and effort I put into remastering some of My early work to improve sound quality before uploading it to be purchased anew. 

I have been doing this long enough to have underwent many changes in how and where I host My files. Even though I charge for My content now, I know unequivocally that allowing unauthorized file sharing to continue does not harm Me in any way. I have roots, and this is not Me going back to them as much as it is Me demonstrating that My stance on file sharing has not changed. What has changed is how much less time I am willing to set aside for creating payment processing solutions only to have them disappear weeks or months later. 

My current platform dramatically simplifies the administration and accounting involved in content distribution. As My work has grown increasingly popular the gifts I receive have become challenging to manage. For example, at one point I had more than 300 pairs of shoes that had been purchased for Me by fans. Part of My move to a monetized platform is to ensure that expressions of gratitude and appreciation do not fill every inch of My living space with shoes, jewelry and fetish clothing. 

No, really. It was becoming a serious problem. I've recycled a rain forest worth of Amazon boxes. The post office was becoming My second home, and seriously: no one needs two cubic yards of frilly panties. 

My audience seems to really enjoy supporting My continued content creation by keeping Me in the studio top lists, loyally returning to collect My latest files, and even taking the time and effort to vote or like My sessions. As I see it, all of this is simply a natural progression and evidence of My success.

Love,

Ellechemy

Copyright Clarifications

From time to time I check in on this forum because I will receive an email from a fan with a link to posts they made promoting My work. But sometimes I receive messages of distress from fans who want Me to be aware of what is going on in this community in My absence.

I checked in today to find a whole lot of bullshit and misrepresentation:

- Forum members claiming to have received DMCA and take-down notices from Me.

- Others claiming I was directly responsible for cancellation of their file hosting accounts.

- A post made by someone impersonating Me issuing a blanket threat of legal action.

- Claims from forum members that I had emailed them (of course no screen caps of this) demanding tribute for downloaded content.

- A whole lot of confusion regarding the licensing of My previously free content.

- Rumors that I sold My brand and content to someone else. (patently absurd, countless fans can verify that I am still Me hands firmly on the wheel of My own ship. I do Skype sessions with the camera on, after all.)

Today I made a post there and am sharing it in its entirety here to authenticate that these are in fact My words. I feel this verification is necessary because at least one responder on this forum has pretended to be Me, issuing opinions and threats that I do not support or appreciate. I have never authorized anyone to post and sign off as Me, EVER. I do not have a staff, I run this show on My own and with the full support of My husband (who, respectfully does not process My correspondence either).

The post I made today is only the second I have ever made there. The previous post I made was to share a link to one of My later pay sessions that people were having difficulty downloading from a faulty torrent link. I had hoped that My participation in a conversation about content distribution would make it transparent that I have a complex and nuanced attitude regarding unauthorized content distribution. Let Me clarify here that any of My content acquired via creative commons distribution will be honored as such. I maintain a legal right to appropriate attribution of My content, whether distributed in its original form or as part of a derivative work. I welcome fans to remix, sample or in other ways incorporate My work into their own creations. Some of you who were there when I first stepped onto this scene may remember when I shared a link to a particular trance song a DJ friend produced which featured samples of My work and voice. I would love to see more! As a point of policy, I don't issue DMCAs or authorize others to do so on My behalf.

This is where I agree to disagree with almost every one of My respected peers. My philosophy recognizes that people who "pirate" a given content are participating in growing a brand in an unconventional way and that I benefit from their actions even if not monetarily.

Yes, My work is now for sale on KinkBomb. I was approached by a FemDom idol of Mine who invited Me to join and I did. I was encouraged to upload content regularly in order to reach a new audience. Not every person who wanted to own My entire Syllabus was interested in tracking old work down via torrents or Soundcloud. KinkBomb has allowed Me to greatly simplify content distribution and management in a way that frees up a lot of time to create new content, interact with fans and support the community as a whole. 

Can I just say how incredible it feels to by a primarily audio mp3 producer thriving on a platform mostly oriented around video?!?! This is not just My doing, this is My fanbase. They support Me, they enjoy My success, they promote Me and they mean the world to Me. 

Bottom line, I enjoy producing content for adults, and I feel good about My works being hosted on a site that takes care to ensure that content consumers are adults. Oh, and getting paid is nice, too, but a straight-forward payment system that I don't have to micromanage Myself is AWESOME. People just do not know how much work I had to personally put into the back end when I began creating content for pay. One site I had tried to use for fans requesting custom sessions ended up creating more problems than it solved, including but not limited to: delay in upload, failed transfers to content purchasers, time and file size limits, delay in payment and content restrictions. I am in Canada, not the US, where the majority of My fans live, and there are limited options.

Let's be frank. The financial sector is not a friend to people who produce work like Mine. I am delighted to have found a platform where I feel neither My fans nor Myself are being punished or exploited.

As culture and technology continue to evolve, I will always be looking for a way of getting My work into the hands of fans as smoothly as possible in a way that lets Me focus on doing what I love. Guess what I am going to do right after I hit the publish button on this blog post... Record a new session.

Cheers. 

Love, 

Ellechemy


"Hello all,
Ellechemy here, for real, with a few words about some of this controversy. Some... not all.
I know that some of My files that were once free have been moved "behind a paywall" and it has caused much debate. I used to torrent My own work, so it does not bother Me at all that these files and even new ones are available to you. Enough listeners do pay Me for My creations and it finances the making of more sessions.
I never threatened to sue anyone. Ever. Litigation is anethema to My creative process. Anyone claiming to be Me and threatening to sue is likely a well-intended fan or fellow content provider who does not understand My philosophy regarding content distribution.
While I no longer directly provide My content free of charge, I have not and never will persue legal action for unauthorized distribution so long as the content is appropriately tributed.
I will mention that I have encountered My content for sale by unauthorized third parties. In these cases, I have contacted the seller and platform provider and requested it be removed.
I stridently object to a content creator's work being stolen in this manner. However, free peer-to-peer distribution does not concern Me.
Should there be any ambiguity on My stance regarding "piracy", I would refer curious parties to My blog, where I have commented on this subject in the past. Again, I can assure you that I have not EVER written or authorized a threat of legal action for unauthorized peer-to-peer distribution of My work, and as I administrate My own domains, any claim to the contrary is either erroneous or fraudulent.
Thank you for your continued interest in My work.

~ Ellechemy"


I responded to someone's specific questions regarding DMCA's in a second post in this forum and am re-posting it here and in full (with spelling errors corrected) to authenticate that it is in fact My words.


"Neither I nor any party representing Me has issued a DMCA ever. The first I heard of any of this was when someone alerted Me to the fact that someone in this thread was impersonating Me and issuing threats in My name.
I had nothing to do with the closure of the giga account. 
Further, I would invite anyone claiming that they have received legal notice from Me to CAREFULLY check the email headers as I have not engaged in such action.
At this time I cannot imagine a scenario where I would issue a DMCA notice, barring third party, for-profit sales of My work (ie: someone not Me selling My files without My permission). I imagine we can all agree that is reasonable: someone else selling My work, pretending to be Me is a situation where a C&D would be appropriate. The individual fan sharing My work with other fans, with no money changing hands, is a situation I don't feel requires My intervention. 
I think this pretty well covers it, and I hope this issue can finally, if not belatedly, be put to bed. 
I would remind you all that I do not check in here except maybe once or twice a year and that this is not the place to write to Me. Please regard any poster that claims to be Me with suspicion unless their comments are mirrored on a platform I control such as My blog or website, such as above.

Ellechemy"

Days in May

Hello slaves and subbies. May is an exciting month for Me, it's My Birthday Month and you all really enjoy spoiling Me for weeks before and after. I wake up to many beautiful gifts every day. I receive lots of extra inspiration to write, record, film, photograph and of course make time for one-on-one time with My favorite toys.

May is also an exciting month for My studio. The "House of Elle" has been bustling! Additionally, I have been so pleased to watch My *smexy* new sessions receive so many likes. It always feels good to be at the top of My game, but My time so far on KinkBomb has been especially rewarding. Thanks to My many loyal (and new) fans, I have stayed in the Top Lists and have enjoyed certain rewards from running a successful top tier studio. 

Some of you have even bought the same session twice, thanking Me again for what I have created and shared with you. I know listening feels SO good and you've been VERY devoted, so I wanted to reward you by doing something special. And fun.

After some deliberation, I have decided to release PREVIOUSLY UNRELEASED CUSTOM CONTENT all of May. It will be exciting for My listeners to hear some special files which My fans have previously commissioned. These sessions are all re-edited and do not contain the subject's name. Be warned: Some of these sessions are weirder than others. 

Custom sessions can be tricky to release. I have had a lot of fun doing custom video, photo sets and audio sessions. Custom files can end up being so specific and strange, that making them available for general sale could risk alienating one's existing audience.

Customs can also be cohesive, effective & original sessions that fit seamlessly into a collection of ones best work. They can have a wider appeal than expected. I am expecting that from making some of Mine available it will bring a unique voyeuristic excitement to the listener and perhaps get them thinking about custom commissioning their next session or photo set.

So watch for selected previously unreleased files as they become available on KINKBOMB and ELLECHEMISTRY.COM

+<3 Ellechemy

Intent to Serve

Nearly every day I receive an email or message from a slave who wants to serve or be trained. These are two very different things, though not mutually exclusive. Since a slave that is not at least partially trained is wholly unfit to serve, I will graciously cover the basics of training.

Most of those who send Me an impulsive message are not even ready to begin training. I look at these introductions and think, they need PREP.

So, in many ways this blog will seem very beginner or basic, but as My Prime Minister of Canada Justin Trudeau has been saying about the need for men as well as women to support Feminism, "Come on, it's 2016".

We will go over this because clearly there is a need for a refesher. In preparation to submit to the slave training process one must be capable of the following 3 acts, or steps. To achieve success or to reach a level of excellence, one must be passionate about these acts.

Step 1 : Consistent Humility

Every day you must do something to sacrelize (make sacred) your true slave transformation & reinforce your place. If you want to serve or be owned in any permanent way, this is going to be the first commitment you make.

Examples: Kiss the floor, write "slave" (on your self/or lines), wear a collar for 1 hour, train with an audio session (femdom). Anything that gets you into the head space of being of service. Look for opportunities to be of service to others throughout the day: (hold the door for someone, yielding to someone else in traffic, giving up your seat to someone in transit, etc.)

The point is not necessarily to carve out time for these acts, but to begin to incorporate them smoothly into your daily waking life, and always getting better at them.

(There will always be someone whose response to this is that they already do this, and that is the person who usually most needs a smack on the ass or a jerk on the collar to get them over themselves.)

There are people who dedicate every minute of every day of their lives perfecting humility to a level comparable to a master violinist.

A slave must be ready & willing to be of service. If you're doing it right every improvement only reveals how much more you have to learn. If you haven't yet become the subject of an internet sensation video featuring you restoring faith in humanity, then don't tell Me you do this already.

None of these acts should involve sexual gratification at the time, even though they may become sexualized in the slave's mind. None of these acts should involve "sucking up" as that is clearly an act of ambition, not one of humility. Only consistency will show over time, the sub's actual intent.

*Note: How a slave shows consistency will differ from how a Domme shows consistency. Always remember that Dommes are rare creatures while slaves exist in abundance. Many Dommes enjoy keeping numerous slaves, so do not be discouraged, but do be mindful that your Domme might not have the same amount of time that you do for a certain activity. For example, I am not always able to answer every message a slave sends, especially if the slave ends up sending 20 in one day. I will read every one, and ban them from sending more if it is interfering with My other tasks. I see these messages for the emotional and devotional outpourings that they are and answer the exuberant slave at the end of the day.

A slave should be able to give feedback WITHOUT any expectation as to what its Owner may or may not do with this information. There is a fine line between communication with a Domme and "free phone sex" so be prepared to write this down and submit it to Her with a tribute that acknowledges Her time in reading and responding.

*Consider: Meditate on the difference between genuine humility and humility as a bargaining tool (ambition).


Step 2 : The Will to Serve

Will you do as you are told? Even if it does not appear to provide instant gratification, a slave obeys. At all times, a slave does as it is told for its beloved, trusted Owner. Can you make a promise & keep it? Will you work hard to be a worthy slave? Are you able to tribute or otherwise give financial support? Could you devote a certain amount of time to being of service? Would you publicly (if anonymously) worship your Domme?

Be careful not to "be willing" to do things that do more for you than for Her.

Do not become the promo-slave with minimal followers and expect an established Domme to see that as anything but self-serving.

Be aware, you will assume some risk up front in the form of a paid deposit for Her time. The sooner you understand that She is being approached full-time by subs whose intentions are for a quick thrill or to drag out negotiations for a service they have NO intention of paying for (known as time-wasters), the sooner you will be on the right side of Her screening process.

Every day I get messages from slaves saying "Mistress! Help Me! I need discipline!" I completely agree but not in the way they're thinking (and that thinking is evidence that this is true). Don't be the slave who calls out for "discipline" as true discipline is something that cannot simply be given.

Discipline and punishment are NOT the same thing. The D in BDSM is not true discipline, but retaliatory punishment. The discipline of the Domme is Self-Mastery, a commitment to exerting one's will over one's actions more than actions exert power over one's will.

The discipline of the slave is the commitment to serve the Domme even when it does not serve the slave.

A Domme will show a slave the way to self-discipline & the slave will follow. A slave will not disobey for attention. A slave will think of ways to do better than what is expected of it - it will exceed those expectations through creativity, ingenuity or sheer perversity. A Domme's love & discipline will make the slave see even more potential & possibilities than it could ever imagine or realize on its own.


*Note: Willingness is what separates the true subjects from the so-called "fuck-boys" of the internet/world. If every task involves the sub's sexual gratification or puts demands on the Dommes time, then the Domme will never take the sub seriously and the sub will never progress beyond a pay-for-play relationship. In the sub's eagerness to serve, they may intentionally or mistakenly skip over the training. That is like only doing the stretches on your workout regime: it may feel good, but you missed the real point of the exercise.

*Consider: Perform all of your most difficult or least appealing tasks first. Meditate on gratitude and how you express it.

Step 3 : Trust & Truth

A slave will ALWAYS do its best for someone who it trusts. It is imperative that the slave knows itself well enough to recognize when a Domme understands it. An established Domme will have more of everything to offer Her slave-in-training. An experienced Domme will be able to negotiate the intense emotional landscape of D/s safely. And if the two of you are not a good fit at this time, a successful Domme will be able to do the right thing and let the slave go without being dependent upon the slave for any reason.

A new Domme does not yet have the full power to truly handle an emotional new slave who is hurtling through subspace, unable to voice its needs. It is My opinion and experience that the the best clients for new Dommes are experienced slaves, shared slaves and the casual noob role-playing submissive. When I was a new Domme, I had an "old" slave who I learned so much from it could fill several blogs. This is a natural order of stable growth for a scene that is mostly and best self-regulated by its members.

A sub with an inexperienced Domme can go through years of pain and suffering that is not the sexy kind. I receive so many letters from subs who have become depressed by the process and it is not easy to move out of that. They have My deepest sympathies. A submissive with the right Domme can actually become trained to serve so well that they eventually end up in a happy long term D/s relationship with an Alpha or a Domme that is right for them. I have done this with distance slaves and am still in contact with them. I have helped numerous submissives build the skills and self-knowledge needed to succeed in real-life loving relationships with their Dominant life partner. Seeing them owned, serving and loved makes Me incredibly proud and happy for everyone involved. It was an honor to release them from service to Me and into the hands and cages of their capable Owners.

None of this was achieved without mutual awareness and trust. The kind that goes both ways. There is no trust where was no risk. Trust comes in time. The responsible thing to do is to give this time, because time is the other ingredient of trust.

I know for an inexperienced sub that words like trust and responsibility don't seem very sexy. Now, trust Me, the reality of a trusting mutually responsible and respectful D/s relationship far exceeds the wildest weirdest darkest fantasy your pervy little mind can concoct.

*Note: No serious sub can expect to pick a Domme by 1 quality alone. Whether judging a Domme by looks, number of followers, Her name, Her specialty, Her location, Her equipment, etc the slave who is serious will do their research. Read reviews, talk to someone who is in service to Her and expect to tribute in some way during a getting-to-know-each-other period. I recommend setting up some kind of paid phone consultation or first intro session which can cover lots of ground. Be sure to communicate to the Domme that this is your intent as these introductory sessions are most useful when everyone is prepared.

~ Mistress Ellechemy

+<3

New Directions

It may have come to your attention that I have restructured access to My sessions. 

Why are they gone?

They aren't gone, they are moving from Soundcloud to KinkBomb. 
Because My files range from ADULT ONLY to XXX-plicit content, hosting them on an ADULT site gives Me more control over who has access to My work. This is very important to Me as I am well aware of how powerfully My work can affect even the most resistant subject and I have a constant stream of messages in My inbox to prove it. 


When will my favorite session be available?

Very soon. Sessions are being released often. Fans who check in daily will not be disappointed. Whether it's a new release, short video or tweet, there's always more Ellechemistry to absorb.


They have new cover art!

Yes, there is a definite theme to the new cover art. There is an intentional return to form. This fetish has it's own history and mythology. It's difficult to pinpoint where our interests or obsessions began, but for many of us with a hypno-fetish it may be a particular pulp novel, piece of erotic literature or even comic book or cartoon. I wanted to pay homage to the some of the source material that inspires Me.

What can fans expect in 2016?

Expect to see new and exciting subsections of the Syllabus as it grows. One of the reasons I am excited about having increased control over who can see My work is because it frees Me up to explore more extreme themes and subject matter. I have always been very careful about what I release knowing that it often takes more profound hold than I would have imagined. 

I look forward to giving My fans an opportunity to support the creation of new materials and building My visibility with a new audience. This will come in many forms, including social media engagement, polls, contests, collaborations and many other exciting ways to demonstrate your devotion to Ellechemy.


More extreme themes?

Yes! Many of you have noticed that the theme of TRANSFORMATION runs throughout all of My work. It does deeply, yet there is another part to that theme I wish to explore, and that is the PROCESS. I have spent a long time and much effort getting to this very moment. Not satisfied with taking on transformation in and of itself, but how it occurs, and why, explored explicitly, in new media and different kinds of sessions, by following up on frequently requested subject matter, and the continuations of fan favorites.

Without getting into the HOW and the WHY of transformation (or any topic) there is only so far you can go without repeating yourself. Without the further, philosophical questions being asked here we would inevitably be saying the same things over and over without making any progress past the introductions. 

That is certainly no way to push limits or boundaries or widen one's horizons in any significant way. Growth always results in some change, and some of us naturally resist that. The only stasis I enjoy is the kind I inflict. 


There are themes and ideas I have been developing for a long time. I feel I now have a stable of subjects sufficiently trained to handle more advanced experiences and assignments. I am very excited to (un)leash the most diabolical products of My imagination in the year ahead. Happy 2016. 

Hypnotically yours,

Ellechemy

Letters from the Edge

I get messages of this flavor often: people turning to me to resolve quandries composed of personal experience, compelling moments in the past, and some measure of magical thinking regarding My involvement in their lives. 
Once in a while I answer the questions they want answered... but do you really know what you wanted in the first place?

Hi Mistress Elle,

I hope you don't mind this email. I have a question for you. I've been listening to your recordings on and off for a couple of months. Some of them I've connected with, some of them I have not. Upon re-listening to the first two on your syllabus I had an incredibly strange, and thought provoking reaction. I was wondering if you would be willing, if possible, to shed some light on it.

Before I can explain what happened after the session, I have to give you a little backstory. When I was 17 years old I went through, for lack of a better way to describe it,  a period of extreme happiness. This "happiness" was linked to what was happening in my life at the time. The people in it, the events surrounding me, and the future that was right around the corner. The feeling I had is extremely hard to describe. It was almost like a vibration that ran through my body - a happiness vibe. A year later, when things weren't going so well, I was able to turn my inner life around by focusing on those times and that feeling, getting it back, although somewhat muted. It's come and gone over the years and morphed into a different sensation.

A couple of years ago I was meditating to an Attracting Wealth program and some of that original feeling emerged. It didn't stay for long. I didn't really focus too much on it. I would like to note here that the session I listened to had a subliminal track underneath the meditation music.

Last week I listened to "Easy" followed by "Even More Obedient". When I had finished the feeling felt like it was beaming out of me. It was almost completely overwhelming. It was the same feeling that I had as a kid with one exception - it felt synthetic. The feeling was there, but it wasn't latched onto, well, me. It's like  it wasn't personal. It was strong but felt fake. Looking back at the experience with the meditation program, it was the same thing except this time the feeling was about 1000 times stronger. It was also accompanied by a splitting headache.

My first question to you is, have ever heard of anything like this? I know that  ASMR is experienced by a lot of people. Is this that? What would cause this?

Any insights you may have on this subject would be extremely helpful. *

Thank you for your time,
XXXXX


* - ANY insights? Okay!

Hiya XXXXX!

It sounds to Me like you are wrestling with the intrinsically transitory nature of serendipity, or what some would call "real rapture". Part of the nature of our encounters with desire is the context in which we discover it. That context consists of countless variables that cannot converge in exactly the same way again, not the least of which is the newness of the sensation. No matter how we may seek to recreate a moment in which we felt the worldview-toppling tug of desire, the one element we absolutely cannot recreate is a version of ourselves that had not experienced it, and did not anticipate the experience of it.

C.S. Lewis touched on this in the opening arguments of "Pilgrim's Regress", and develops it as the central thematic arc throughout. His protagonist is entirely defined by his wrestling with this problem. Lewis later elaborates on the relationships between desire, pleasure, newness, and spontanaity in "Perelandra" in an overarcing argument regarding the nature of evil (in which he puts forward that it is not desire, but our wish to control and recreate encounters with desire, that fuels much of human evil). 

An interesting praxis for this theme can be synthesized by juxtaposing the impossibility of a self that knows what it lacks that is beyond its bounds (ala Kierkegaard) and the self that can only be whole in its ruthless pursuit of earnest self-definition (ala Sartre). I believe the resolution of this problem is a recognition and acceptance that while it is to us to choose as an act of self-definition, and that choice consistent with the epistemic implications of our merkwelt acts as a reliable moral and existential compass, it is the unknowability and unpredictability of genuine encounters with desire that connects that self to a space with which it can meaningfully interact. Even as it is an ever-changing and unknown "us" that we principally interact with, the moments that seem to transcend those bounds inform us of a context in which that "us" exists and thus we know ourselves to be not of our own making. Thus we are honest, if never whole.

Cheers,
~Elle