Saturday 12 August 2017

The S Word

 There is a reason you do not see Me using the word "supremacy" in My Femdom. As a white person I am not comfortable deploying that word because I know that it sends out a very specific signal to a particular audience (neo nazis). The word Femdom, on its own, does an outstanding job of inverting the power dynamic. Yes, I have dropped the s word on occasion, but it always felt like a very impractical and uncomfortable pair of boots that you suddenly realize are kind of distorting and damaging your legs and not in a hot way.

We have many other better ways to communicate Female power without using that word. I really don't want to have people searching white supremacy hashtags's and find Me because I branded Myself as a Female Supremacist. And I don't need to use that specifically loaded word to inspire desire or anything else in My subjects.

Let Me be clear: I do see value in WOC/POC using that word, should they choose. People of colour have been going along with white people's crap & excuses while being the better people long enough to own any term they want. Part of Me recognizing & taking responsibility for My privilege is acting as an amplifier for other voices, and part of that is Me saying, "I don't get to say what words POC or minorities get to use".

Look, the contemporary reality is that much (most) of Femdom is super misogynistic male fear driven FANTASY. It seems only a very few Dommes understand this FULLY. Those who do excercise and take control of/with their minds and do not budge on their boundaries. They do not do things for profit or publicity that hurt other Women, minorites and the vulnerable. They do things that OPEN doors for other Women and all Women. The most intelligent Women I know are all Dommes, and yet some are other things as well... doctors, judges, architects, teachers, engineers and world leaders.

In this culture we see men in positions of power seek out a submissive role sexually, but we often see Women who hold power seek out dominant roles sexually which I read as an internal recognition that being a Woman in power feels simultaneously more frustrating and more precarious than being a man in power. Why? Because it is easier for a man in power to set that power aside for a fantasy, confident they can pick it back up the second the session ends, than it is for a Woman who has every reason to believe the second She lets Her power go it will disappear.

On  first glance "supremacy" seems to be describing a position of power: that someone is powerful or has power at their command. Historically, however, the word "supremacy" relates less to whether one has power as it does to whether the power one has is intrinsic, inalienable, or justified. When classical authors wrote about the "supremacy of the state" they were not saying that governments are powerful but that power & government are so interconnected that it makes no sensne to talk of one without the other. (Cicero, Plato, Diogenes)

The problem with Female Supremacy is that it underlines the concept of supremacy as being that those who have power are those who SHOULD have power. (See Google guy manifesto). Supremacy says power is a right and not something that just happens, that power belongs where it is. To use the word is to give the ultimate signal of "don't move the status quo". Supremacy leaves NO room for either equality or equity. Equality is a fight for survival. Equity is a fight for justice.




Femdom without the supremacy is a fantasy but also a practice of the free exchange and redistribution of power by consent. More subversive than a man on his knees before a Woman triumphant is the idea that power is fluid, arbitrary but can be placed according to the desires of the people who interact with it. The concept of supremacy is so interwoven with our culture and understanding of power that it takes significant time and effort to recognize how radical an alternative, like consensual power distribution, genuinely is.

If we want to be authentic subversive or disruptive agents of change, we need to challenge assumptions about what power is more than question who has it.

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